True North

In the grand composition of existence, each individual plays a unique instrument, contributing to the harmonious symphony of life. Among the many instrumentalists, the role of a father or father figure stands out, akin to the conductor of an orchestra, guiding the ensemble with steady, trustworthy hands. This conductor, embodying the philosophy of masculine caregiving, is the compass that points to 'True North', providing guidance and stability amidst the cacophony of life's challenges and changes.

The conductor of an orchestra is not merely a figure of authority but a beacon of inspiration. They do not command; but instead they guide. They do not impose; they encourage. They do not demand perfection; but instead they nurture growth. Similarly, a father or father figure embodies a spectrum of roles that are as diverse and intricate as the notes in a musical score.

As guardians, their protective instincts form the robust outer shell that shields us from the harsh winds of adversity. As providers, their efforts offer sustenance and resources, akin to the nourishing core of a symphony that feeds the soul. They are mentors, whose wisdom is ever-unfolding like a complex melody, guiding us through the labyrinth of life.

Having a positive male figure in one's life is akin to having a beacon of light in the stormy seas of adolescence, reminding us to always define, seek and be steadfast in our own True North while navigating the uncharted territories of adolescence. Along the way, the gifts that we, as children, receive from such a figure are immeasurable. We learn resilience, akin to an orchestra maintaining its harmony amidst the cacophony. We learn empathy, understanding and valuing each instrument's unique voice. We learn integrity, akin to a conductor upholding a composer's vision, standing up for what is right even when it is not easy.

A father’s journey is one of joy, challenges, and profound transformation. In witnessing our growth as children, from a bud of infinite potential to a flower of unique individuality. In guiding us through the crescendos and decrescendos of our youth, while enabling us to play freely and to not become too serious about playing the perfect score in our first rehearsal. It is witnessing our first steps, our first words, our first heartbreak, our triumphs and failures, and our evolution into adulthood. It is a dance of holding on and letting go, a balance between providing support and fostering independence, like balancing the different sections and timbre of the orchestra to create a harmonious and inspiring symphony.

My own father would say, “conductors are like the prism, transmuting a spectrum of light and energy through an orchestra and into the audience”, much like our fathers encouraging us to always demand the best of ourselves, and to play our own instrument courageously and with passion, and when we would occasionally feel that we have played the wrong note, reminding us that “the only wrong notes are those played without passion”. 

Fathers and father figures are the givers of gifts that cannot be wrapped. They give the gift of time, their presence a constant in the changing seasons of life. They give the gift of love, unconditional and unwavering, as comforting as a familiar melody. They give the gift of expectations, not as a burden, but as a belief in their child's potential, a challenge to rise above the ordinary and reach for the extraordinary to express their best performance.

The philosophy of masculine caregiving is not about dominance but about balance. It is about strength and gentleness, courage and vulnerability, guidance and freedom. It is about understanding that masculinity, like music, is not a single note but a symphony of sounds. It is about embracing the full spectrum of human emotions, from the joy of success to the tears of disappointment. It is about being the 'True North,' and a guiding compass that provides direction and stability.

In honoring those who upheld these principles to guide us through the tribulations of life’s uncertainty, let us draw a parallel with that within ourselves that embodies the essence of this philosophy. To stand as a beacon of strength and integrity and let our own life’s melody play as a testament to the balanced energy of caregiving, the strength and nurturing of attention, the unfolding of wisdom, and the unwavering commitment to those we love.

For those of us whose father is no longer with us, Father’s Day is an opportunity to continue honoring them by not only playing their favorite song, but by also continuing to play melodies which they curated and enjoyed in us. For all of humankind, let us embody the qualities that we loved in them and that touched our lives, and strive to be that which we experienced in and received from these figures, to maintain the True North for ourselves, and for each other.